


i eat boys like you for breakfast

by prophecygurl



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gone Girl Fusion, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bellamy ehh not as much, Clarke is a full on sociopath in this pretty much, F/M, Sexy Sociopaths Flirting, and then that turned into 1200 words and here we are, anywho, but this was honestly just suppose to be like 2 paragraphs max to go with a mood board i'd made, don't kink shame him he's valid, dont kill me pls, i came up with this idea like 6 months ago or something, i stg if that ends up on one of those ao3 tag blogs jhuyuhjk, i will laugh my ass off, its more like murder turns him on, like clarke faking her own murder to torture finn is his kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-13 04:29:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21488362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prophecygurl/pseuds/prophecygurl
Summary: I'm so much happier now that I'm dead. Technically missing. Soon to be presumed dead. Gone. And my lazy lying shitting oblivious husband will go to prison for my murder. Finn Collins took my pride and my dignity and my hope and my money. He took and took from me until I no longer existed. That's murder. Let the punishment fit the crime.When Clarke Griffin discovers that her husband of five years has been secretly fucking his high school sweetheart for the entirety of their relationship, she’s done............and so is he. Clarke fakes her own murder, flees town, and sits back to watch as America crucifies Finn on the nightly news.Except her plan doesn’t go quite to spec and now she’s home, begrudged to torture Finn via Plan B: forcing him to live out a loveless, soul-crushing marriage to her, forever in the public eye. Meanwhile, what’s a girl to do for fun? Enter Bellamy Blake.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Finn Collins/Clarke Griffin, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 93





	i eat boys like you for breakfast

**Author's Note:**

> title from the ida maria song. talis told me i should write this and 6 months later here it is.  
no beta reader. all mistakes are my own.  
disclaimer: obviously i do not own this shit show or gone girl  
20th cent. fox please do not come after me for the one altered quote okay i have no money u will get NOTHING
> 
> basically the idea is that all of the events from the movie (as remember them) occurred prior to this. cage wallace was clarke's crazy stalker ex that ends up as collateral damage in her plan to destroy finn. raven is finn's ex obviously, unless you'd like to imagine otherwise bc i mean i don't even mention her by name so go ham. bellamy lives with octavia and lincoln who have like 3 kids and keep popping out more bc why not with uncle bellamy to help out. he lives with them bc living alone is boring and they have a big house anyway bc lincoln is a famous artist and he still loves his nieces and nephews even if he has a murder kink. he figures out clarke's whole schtick bc they're both geniuses obviously. everyone else is dumb bc i say so. and that's what you missed last time <strike>on glee!</strike>

_ I'm so much happier now that I'm dead. Technically missing. Soon to be presumed dead. Gone. And my lazy lying shitting oblivious husband will go to prison for my murder. Finn Collins took my pride and my dignity and my hope and my money. He took and took from me until I no longer existed. That's murder. Let the punishment fit the crime. _

When Clarke Griffin discovers that her husband of five years has been secretly sleeping with his high school sweetheart for the entirety of their relationship, she’s done............and so is he. Clarke fakes her own murder, flees town, and sits back to watch as America crucifies Finn on the nightly news. 

Except her plan doesn’t go quite to spec and now she’s home, begrudged to torture Finn via Plan B: forcing him to live out a loveless, soul-crushing marriage to her, forever in the public eye. Meanwhile, what’s a girl to do for fun?

Enter Bellamy Blake. Brother of Octavia, Clarke’s pregnant “best friend” who was an unwitting accomplice in Plan A. 

Clarke knew Bellamy, technically. He always seemed to be around when she and Octavia would hang out. 

_ God, _ Clarke thought to herself.  _ I’m going to have to keep that friendship up for appearances. Great. _

That was all back when Clarke was manipulating the obnoxious human incubator for her urine. As far as Clarke could remember Bellamy was a small time writer-professor who lived with Octavia and her husband and taught at the same university as Finn, though they worked in completely different departments. Bellamy was a history professor, lecturing mainly on ancient cultures, while Finn taught introductory comp. courses. 

Now he’s standing at her door with his hands in his pockets and an unreadable expression on his face.

“So…...you’re back. And not dead,” he says. Before Clarke can reply, Bellamy invites himself in, walking right past her and looking around her foyer. 

“Yes...I’m doing alright, all things considered. I’m so sorry if Octavia was frightened. I can’t believe the upset Cage caused,” Clarke stammered out deliberately.  _ This act is already exhausting me. _

“Yeah. I’m sure she’ll survive. If I know her, she’ll probably be over here with a casserole first thing tomorrow,” he added. 

_ Oh gag me, _ thought Clarke.

“So…” he continued. “It was all bullshit, right? The whole ordeal?” he asked.

Clarke froze.  _ What the hell? _ How had be figured it out?

“I...what do you mean? I’m—I don’t—” Clarke was freaking out. She’d planned every detail so meticulously, but she hadn’t accounted for some random, insightful hot guy to show up on her doorstep like this. But when Clarke looked into his eyes she saw something — something unexpected. It looked an awful lot like...respect?

“Don’t worry. I’m not here to expose you or anything. I am a little confused though,” he explained. Followed by, “You’re husband’s a dick.”

There didn’t seem much point in keeping up the charade. Bellamy didn’t seem like he’d be swayed by her innocent victim routine.  _ And at any rate, I’m fucking tired of it myself. _

“Yeah. So?” she questioned.

“So why are you still with him?” he asked in reply. 

_ Not a completely unwarranted question if you’re paying attention, _ she thought.  _ I mean, Christ. Why hasn’t someone asked this already? The whole country was shitting itself to march Finn to the electric chair two weeks ago and now they’re all fawning over him. Sweet, doting husband my ass. Idiots are so easily swayed by men who do the bare minimum. _

“Easy,” she stated, speaking slowly and pointedly, moving closer to him with every word. “If I stay, I can do  _ everything  _ in my power to make  _ every  _ day of his life as  _ miserable  _ as  _ possible _ . And he can never leave me after all of this,” she added. “Partly because the whole world would turn on him again, partly because now he knows  _ exactly  _ what I’m capable of.”

“Wow,” Bellamy said, letting out a breathe he didn’t realize he’d been holding. “I’m impressed.” Clarke smiled in reply, pleased with herself. “Seems like a lot of work, though,” he said. “And what happens when a few months go by and there’s no baby? I’m assuming the pregnancy was a lie...unless...?” he questioned.

She snorted.  _ Don’t make me laugh. _ “Yeah, no. I’m not having a baby with that dick. I’d rather choke on the broken neck of a beer bottle.”

“So what’s your plan exactly?”

“Miscarriage. Garner more sympathy,” she replied, curtly.

“Yeah that would work. Or, you could go the whole nine yards. People love babies. And I’m betting Finn doesn’t.”

She had to laugh at that. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure Finn would spontaneously combust if he actually had to change a diaper or wipe spit up off himself. It would be great.” 

She continued, “but like I said, I’d sooner impale myself on one of our white picket fence posts than spread my legs for him ever again. Plus, it seems unfair to subject a child to his gene pool.”

“I wasn’t suggesting you do that either,” Bellamy replied, a smoldering look on his face.

_ Well that’s hot. _

“So...what exactly were you suggesting?” They were staring intensely into one another’s eyes now.

“Well...I could help you out, Princess. If you were open to that.” 

At the nickname, Clarke suddenly developed a glassy look in her eyes and began staring off into the distance a bit. “Princess?”

“Seems fitting,” he explained. Clarke was still staring off at an angle, but hanging on to his every word nonetheless. “Long, blonde hair. Rich. Gorgeous. Your house is practically a castle.” 

Clarke focused her eyes back onto his face. They were standing so close now that if she began breathing heavily he’d no doubt feel it.  _ Huh. Freckles. _

“So what does that make you in this scenario? My knight in shining armour?” He chuckled. 

“Come to rescue you from eternal boredom and mediocrity? I could be that,” he said with a smirk.

“You could be,” she replied breathlessly. “If you wanted.”

“No qualms about cheating your husband, princess?” Every time he called her that it sent a small thrill up her spine. She hadn’t experienced anything like that in what felt like eons.

“He never had any qualms about it,” she reminded him. “Never once mentioned to me in two years of dating or five years of marriage that he hadn’t broken up with his ex. Probably never mentioned me to her either. Though that’s in the toilet now, I suppose.” She giggled, but the truth was it still stung a little, his betrayal.  _ Not that there are any warm, fuzzy feelings left, _ she thought.  _ But I do wish he’d just drive his car into a lake or something and be done with all this. Is that really too much to ask? _

“Oh right, what a dick,” he replied. The sudden look of disgust on his face was once again replaced by what could only be datedly described as bedroom eyes. “In that case, I’m officially offering my services. I’m sure it would be grueling work, fucking you day in and day out, but I’m willing to suffer in the name of prolonging Finn’s misery.”

His facetious tone made her laugh. “I’m sure that will be awful for you,” she agreed. She had just one question though. “Why exactly do  _ you  _ hate Finn so much?”

“Clearly you’ve never had to listen to him drone on at the monthly staff meetings,” he answered. She laughed again.

“Well, in that case, I accept your offer,” she responded, grabbing his tie and craning her neck upward to lock eyes with him. “I think  _ you  _ and  _ I _ are going to have a little fun together,” she teased.

“Oh, princess. We’re going to have  _ a lot  _ of fun.”

**Author's Note:**

> and then they proceed to have lots of great sex and commit elaborate crimes together to fuck with people. they probably yeet off together like a couple years after the baby's born though bc who cares anymore and they live happily ever after on a remote island somewhere with baby julia (bc bellamy's still a fuckin' nerd). the end.
> 
> ya so this is my first time writing fanfic since glee fandom <strike>lets NOT talk about that</strike>. i know this might be lowkey garbage and probably way ooc, but this is really the result of me struggling to force myself to just WRITE SOMETHING ANYTHING bc i do want to get better at fiction writing and that'll never happen if i can't just get something down so yeah. sorry if this sucks but we all have to start somewhere. constructive feedback and unwavering praise are always appreciated 🙃 as is incoherent screaming into the void. come scream at me at [braveprincess](http://braveprincess.tumblr.com).


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